"You're no better'n the others, Gus
Wilson!" Silas Barnstable stormed, shaking his fist at the proprietor of the
Model Garage.
"Just because I bought a big car, you
ain't gonna gyp me into buying high-priced parts. Big car, little car, the
parts are all the same. You mechanics just give 'em different numbers so's
you can charge more!"
Gus sighed. He knew that many people
believed, like Silas, that manufacturers gave identical parts different
numbers and descriptions so they could be sold at higher prices.
"I don't know why I even come here,
Gus. I can do lots better at that new auto-parts store in Brownville."
"Well, maybe you ought to try them,
Silas."
"Don't think I didn't! But they don't
have the part I needed. Burglars cleaned them out yesterday. 'Sides, I'd
have to put the thing on myself."
"How about Stafford's Garage out near
the shopping center?" Gus offered, playing up to the old character.
"Hmmph! Likely as crooked as you."
Gus grinned. "Sure would like to show
you the facts about parts interchangeability, Silas, but Bert Wheeler is
bringing in one of his motel guests who has car trouble. In fact, here they
come now."
As Wheeler pushed a 1954 Lincoln into
the shop with his station wagon, Silas went over and peered in at the
thin-faced driver of the first car.
"You watch this here Wilson. He's out
to clip anybody with a big car!"
The driver's eyes narrowed. "Look,
Dad, you mind your business, I'll mind mine."
"Young whipper-snapper!" Silas whirled
and headed out of the shop.
Big Bert Wheeler laughed. "Same old
Silas, eh, Gus? Oh - this is Bill Carver.
Looks like his do-it-yourself auto
repair got him in trouble."
"What seems to be wrong, Mr. Carver?"
Gus asked, eying the big sedan.
"Well, it just won't run since I
replaced a worn distributor this morning."
"Timing maybe?" said Gus, lifting the
hood. "Just putting in a new distributor isn't enough. Now if you'd had a
timing light... "
"Got one, mister," Carver pulled out a
fancy pistol-gripped timing light. "But I couldn't get the car running long
enough to use it."
"Well, I have to get back to the
motel." Wheeler announced. "Stop in next time you're around, Mr. Carver."
Gus looked over the distributor and
prepared to check the timing. He noted new spark plugs, a new fuel pump and
shiny new carburetor.
"You keep your car in good shape," he
commented. "This shouldn't be tough."
"That's good, because I'm in a hurry."
Carver lit a fresh cigarette with the stub of the old one.
Bent under the hood, Gus positioned
the crankshaft pulley to the timing mark and jiggled the distributor rotor
in position to fire number-one cylinder.
"Hit the starter, Mr. Carver."
The engine caught instantly. But the
smile on Gus's face changed to a frown as the engine backfired, jerked and
died.
"That's just what it did for me," the
man said. "Better try something else."
Gus nodded. "If I hadn't just set it
up, I'd swear it was out of time. Hit the starter again."
After a grinding start, the engine ran
about 50 revolutions, only to spit back through the carburetor and die.
Gus gave Carver a puzzled glance.
"This sort of thing happen before you
put in the new distributor?"
"No, it ran just fair. Good as it
could, I guess, with a worn unit."
Gus hauled out his pipe, filled it,
struck a match and began puffing deliberately.
If the timing gear had somehow jumped
a tooth, it would be a little out of time - always. He reasoned.
He checked the fit between the
distributor neck and the hole in the block. No play there. Peering through
the open hole, Gus had Carver run the starter as he watched the slow
rotation of the camshaft pinion. The gear looked perfect the rotation
smooth. There must be something wrong with that distributor, Gus figured,
if the car had run even reasonably well with the old one.
Picking up the new unit, Gus fingered
the drive gear, watching the points open and close. Crankshaft to camshaft,
he thought, camshaft gear to distributor drive gear. Distributor to plugs.
Hold on!
Gus quickly replaced the distributor.
The engine caught, then died, true to
form.
"Doesn't look like we're getting
anywhere," Carver said impatiently.
Paying no heed, Gus hooked the timing
light into the ignition circuit. As Carver ran the starter, Gus held the
flashing tube close to the timing pointer on the engine block. In the light
of each successive flash, he watched the mark on the pulley creep up toward
the pointer. Suddenly the engine started, ran roughly, smoothed out, and
died as the timing mark disappeared. Two more trials proved his curious
hunch.
Gus frowned. It was like a cycle - a
definite cycle. That could mean only one thing. Sounds crazy, he thought,
but...
Inspired, Gus removed the distributor
again. "Have to check my service manual," he said, walking into his office.
"Maybe the old man was right about you
and big cars," Carver called.
But instead of looking at his manuals,
Gus reached for the phone and dialed.
As Stan Hicks, his assistant, entered
the office, Gus hung up, mumbling"... 12, 13. 14. Well I'll be doggoned!"
"What's up?" Stan asked.
"Monkey business, Stan - and I just
learned to count!" He scribbled a number on a piece of paper. "Drive over
to the Lincoln-Mercury Garage and pick up this part. And hurry. Use the
side door and don't let that fellow in the Lincoln see you bring it back."
Going into the shop, Gus spoke to
Carver. "This will take a while."
"How long?" Carver snapped, looking at
his watch.
"An hour, maybe."
"I'll grab a bite down at the diner,"
Carver said, pulling a bill from his pocket. "I'll be back in 20 minutes,
and there's 20 bucks that says you'd better have it done by then."
Gus moved fast. Ignoring the engine
compartment, he jumped on the rear bumper.
Then, with an expression of
satisfaction, he took the distributor to his bench arbor press and went to
work.
Stan came in with a small package.
"Wish you'd tell me what this is all
about, Gus. Something wrong with that new distributor?"
"About as wrong as anything could be."
When Carver came back, Gus was
finished and the car was running. Without a word the man got behind the
wheel, backed out and took off.
Gus dashed into the office and picked
up the phone. Stan followed him and heard his boss conclude, "that's all I
wanted to know."
Gus dialed another number. "Police
Barracks? Officer Corcoran there? Jerry? This is Gus Wilson. There should
be a 1954 Lincoln, dark blue, heading out of town on the east highway.
License is 163390. Driver is blond, in his mid-twenties. Name's Carver.
I'd suggest you pick him up for questioning about that auto-parts burglary
over at Brownville." Gus paused and listened.
"Sure I'm sure. If you don't find
enough evidence in the trunk to convict him, I'll eat an inner tube."
About an hour later Jerry Corcoran and
a young man carrying a press camera walked into the Model Garage.
"Gus, this is Dan O'Shea, a reporter
from the Brownville Times. He was at the barracks when we brought Carver
in. The fellow had enough stolen auto parts and accessories in his trunk to
start a garage."
"What's the story, Mr. Wilson?" the
reporter asked.
Gus told how Carver had come to him
for help. "I was stumped. All the clues pointed right to the brand-new
distributor. This screwy run, not-run sequence was a definite cycle. Then
it hit me. The only thing it could be was gearing, a wrong gear ratio
somehow.
"I called the local Lincoln dealer.
The part number I gave them was for a Mercury, not a Lincoln distributor.
They also told me Lincoln uses a 15-tooth drive gear.
The Mercury one is almost identical,
but uses a 14-tooth gear. Although the difference wasn't enough to keep the
gear from meshing, the fast ratio made the engine repeatedly run itself out
of time."
The reporter was taking notes as Gus
continued.
"Then I remembered hearing about the
Brownville auto-parts burglary. Things began to add up - new parts on his
car, sagging rear springs. The distributor made me still surer."
"How so?" Jerry asked.
"Well, I figured nobody in his right
mind would sell a Mercury distributor for use on a Lincoln. But a person
could steal one - it looks identical. Then I sent Stan for the right
15-tooth drive gear, put it in, let him go, made a fast call to the
Brownville store to ask if a timing light and a Mercury distributor were
among the missing items - they were - and figured you'd still be able to nab
him."
"And that we did," Jerry said as
O'Shea focused his camera.
"Hold it, you two. And Mr. Wilson,
pick up that wrong gear, will you? I'll make the front page with this."
"Okay," said Gus, taking up the pose.
"But how about sending a clipping of
your story to a friend of mine?"
The bulb flashed. "Sure. A
relative?" Gus grinned. "Nope. Just a thorn in my side who should learn
what can happen to a fellow who thinks all auto parts are alike - Silas
Barnstable."